Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
false alarm. still invincible.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ladies don't puke and tell
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
