i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
