Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
