the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
