Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
