Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
