Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Randomize
