Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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