it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
