and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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