So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize