Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
