Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
