Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
