butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
