I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
