Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
