She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
