he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
