Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
