I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize