I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
