For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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