I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize