sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
