piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
