i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
