You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize