I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
