I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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