i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
