mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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