so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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