I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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