i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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