My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As shirtless as possible
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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