Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
