i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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