just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just pee around me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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