and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
