I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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