im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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