Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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