I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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