She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
