I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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