And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
