I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
