And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
