So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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