Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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