So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
