yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize