and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
