the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
