covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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