p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
