this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
