bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize