You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
