glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
