I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
