so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
