For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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