I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This baby is an asshole
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize