I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
